What am i feeling today?
No words can describe, i guess.
I simply feel that my life is gonna be like a roller coaster ride.
Its gonna be bumpy, thrilling, nervous and i dont even know if im gonna survive the ride till the end.
But i have faith in myself.
And the thing is, the ride i believe is not just gonna be about me.
I realise that i'm keeping too many secrets.
My health.
I could still remember how sick i was in 2010.
It was the year where everything came crashing down.
I lost weight, thinking that it was my effort in all the exercises i did.
But sadly, no.
I remember how annoyed i could get even at the simple joke a friend make.
How suagrt scolded me for not paying attention in class,
I was in class I was looking straight into the eyes of every teachers that step into the class, tuning my ears to the perfect channel so i can focus.
But sadly, I wasnt present. My soul was somewhere else.
I was in some beautiful place where everything goes unheard and I dont know what i learnt at the end of the day.
Sit for my 'O' level and i did not make it, in 2009.
For 2010, RE-SIT , but still i did not make it again.
2009 - I could put the blame on my health.
2010 - Who or what could i blame? OF COURSE, ITS NOT MY HEALTH.
But what?
Stupidity?
NAH.
EVERYONE IS SMART IN A WAY OR ANOTHER.
EVEN THE DUMBEST PERSON ON EARTH CAN TELL THE DIFF IN COLOURS.
I studied with all my heart.
I fail my maths yes, but how can my other grades be the same as well?
How could it be? Im not saying im so smart, but there are subjects that i will usually score well in every test and everything but why is it not showing in the cert?
WHY OH WHY.
ANS: GOD HAS OTHER PLAN FOR NATASYAKHAN.
Sugart says that i cant sit in an exam room and sit for the exam because i will panic and my brain just shuts, and eventhou i answered all the qns, to me it might be the right answers but its actually not.
Sad huh?
Indeed.
Its just like you feel like you have given your best in a composition thinking that it is the best story you have ever written but how much did you score for it?
10/30.
Your heart just sank to the bottom and feel useless and wants to give up.
But did you give up?
NO, NEVER RIGHT?
Simply because your very own teacher will keep forcing you to be doin compo in class, homeworks, class test and when you are good enough they will send you for writting composition.
Its just like that, thats how your life should work as well.
Put yourself as the teacher as well as the student.
Thats how im gonna live my life.
I will never stop trying in every aspect of my life.
Soon, I will see and feel the sun shining brightly on me after a rainy day and who knows there will be a rainbow too.
Im not a fan of rainbow, in the sense where i dont get excited about it.
But i believe it will indeed feel awesome seeing it after a tough fight of my life.
What is my most proudest sentence for me to share with people about my life:
1. I am diabetically healthy.
2. I've RE-SIT for 'O' LEVEL, but I am going to higher nitec ITE in Leisure & Travel Operations.
( I'm not being sarcastic, but i trully mean it)
Just so you wait and see my list will keep going on and on until the day where i reach my dream.
My dream is to become a psychologist.
Even if i didnt reach my dreams, no worries its either i will reach it in my afterlife or when i am reborn into this world again.
Thank you god.
To those out there who face something similiar with my life or even worse.
Never lose hope.
Once you lose hope,it means you are done with life and are ready for God to take you away.
But trust me, even God is not gonna pick you up.
Simply because you have an unfinish business here, in the world.
No words can describe, i guess.
I simply feel that my life is gonna be like a roller coaster ride.
Its gonna be bumpy, thrilling, nervous and i dont even know if im gonna survive the ride till the end.
But i have faith in myself.
And the thing is, the ride i believe is not just gonna be about me.
I realise that i'm keeping too many secrets.
My health.
I could still remember how sick i was in 2010.
It was the year where everything came crashing down.
I lost weight, thinking that it was my effort in all the exercises i did.
But sadly, no.
I remember how annoyed i could get even at the simple joke a friend make.
How suagrt scolded me for not paying attention in class,
I was in class I was looking straight into the eyes of every teachers that step into the class, tuning my ears to the perfect channel so i can focus.
But sadly, I wasnt present. My soul was somewhere else.
I was in some beautiful place where everything goes unheard and I dont know what i learnt at the end of the day.
Sit for my 'O' level and i did not make it, in 2009.
For 2010, RE-SIT , but still i did not make it again.
2009 - I could put the blame on my health.
2010 - Who or what could i blame? OF COURSE, ITS NOT MY HEALTH.
But what?
Stupidity?
NAH.
EVERYONE IS SMART IN A WAY OR ANOTHER.
EVEN THE DUMBEST PERSON ON EARTH CAN TELL THE DIFF IN COLOURS.
I studied with all my heart.
I fail my maths yes, but how can my other grades be the same as well?
How could it be? Im not saying im so smart, but there are subjects that i will usually score well in every test and everything but why is it not showing in the cert?
WHY OH WHY.
ANS: GOD HAS OTHER PLAN FOR NATASYAKHAN.
Sugart says that i cant sit in an exam room and sit for the exam because i will panic and my brain just shuts, and eventhou i answered all the qns, to me it might be the right answers but its actually not.
Sad huh?
Indeed.
Its just like you feel like you have given your best in a composition thinking that it is the best story you have ever written but how much did you score for it?
10/30.
Your heart just sank to the bottom and feel useless and wants to give up.
But did you give up?
NO, NEVER RIGHT?
Simply because your very own teacher will keep forcing you to be doin compo in class, homeworks, class test and when you are good enough they will send you for writting composition.
Its just like that, thats how your life should work as well.
Put yourself as the teacher as well as the student.
Thats how im gonna live my life.
I will never stop trying in every aspect of my life.
Soon, I will see and feel the sun shining brightly on me after a rainy day and who knows there will be a rainbow too.
Im not a fan of rainbow, in the sense where i dont get excited about it.
But i believe it will indeed feel awesome seeing it after a tough fight of my life.
What is my most proudest sentence for me to share with people about my life:
1. I am diabetically healthy.
2. I've RE-SIT for 'O' LEVEL, but I am going to higher nitec ITE in Leisure & Travel Operations.
( I'm not being sarcastic, but i trully mean it)
Just so you wait and see my list will keep going on and on until the day where i reach my dream.
My dream is to become a psychologist.
Even if i didnt reach my dreams, no worries its either i will reach it in my afterlife or when i am reborn into this world again.
Thank you god.
To those out there who face something similiar with my life or even worse.
Never lose hope.
Once you lose hope,it means you are done with life and are ready for God to take you away.
But trust me, even God is not gonna pick you up.
Simply because you have an unfinish business here, in the world.
Labels: OF MY LIFE.
